The Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center blog had an article called The Truth behind Three Natural Cancer "Cures". When cures is in quotes, you know they will not have a high opinion of the interventions.

They characterize cannabis oil, laetrile and manipulating pH levels through diet as unproven, unlikely to work, potentially dangerous and going so far as to note that with pH,

"The actual science has been misinterpreted."

They are careful to note that

Therapies such as acupuncture and massage can be a useful complement to conventional methods of treating cancer.

They are?  News to this blog. I wonder why and which alternative therapies? Lets look at the alternative therapies offered at Sloan Kettering.

Acupuncture of course. Including Restorative Facial Acupuncture to

improve skin tone and appearance, and minimize fine lines.

Acupuncture leads to

improved energy and balance stimulate the body's natural healing abilities, relieve many physical ailments, promote physical and emotional well-being, and assist with lifestyle issues such as smoking cessation and weight loss.

In my opinion, total bullshit. Another example where actual science has been misinterpreted. But unlike cannabis oil, laetrile and manipulating pH Levels, a potential cash cow, since they charge

Individual first session, $125

Follow-up session, $100

Well-Being Passport* (ten sessions), $900

Community acupuncture visit, $50

They also offer mind-body therapies,

The rate for individual mind-body therapies is $120; for a package of ten, $900. Therapies are customized to fit the needs of all patients and families regardless of clinical status.

Regardless of clinical status perhaps meaning no matter what they will find a way to get that 900 dollars. 

And, at the apex of worthless magic, medical qi gong, reflexology, and reiki.  

Individual session, $110

It is hard for me to take the Sloan seriously when on one hand appropriately disparage one group of worthless pseudo-medicines and charge a mint on justifying a different group of worthless pseudo-medicines.

With apologies to Alanis Morrissette


An old man turned ninety-eight

Tried laetrile for cancer and died the next day

It's like acupuncture for which you pay

It's medical qi gong two minutes too late

And isn't it ironic… don't you think

It's like reiki for an ICU stay

Pseudo-medicine don't work and you've already paid

It's the science advice that you just didn't take

Who would've thought… it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid of meds

Went to the Sloan for Integrative Medicine instead

He tried his whole life to avoid science based care

And as his health crashed down he thought

"Well isn't this nice…"

And isn't it ironic… don't you think

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you

When you think everything's okay and everything's going right

And life has a funny way of helping you out when

You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up

In your face